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Sending messages to those we’ve lost

November 6, 2025   ·   0 Comments

by Mark Pavilons

“Those we love don’t go away; they walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard, but always near still loved, still missed, and very dear.”

How many of us think about, and even talk to, the dearly departed?

How often do we miss hearing their voices or laughter?

Recently, while driving home from my radiation treatment at Southlake, I pictured my mom’s face in the cloudy sky above. I began to cry.

I miss her smile and hearty laugh, even her weird mannerisms.

My youngest grew quite close to my mom before she passed. Kyleigh sometimes criticizes me for not expressing how much I miss her, or even crying about the loss.

I’ve lost everyone – mom, dad, sister and uncles. That’s a lot of tears. And lately, my sorrow has been focussed on my own personal journey with cancer. Bottom line is I just don’t have enough tears to shed.

If only we could “talk” to our loved ones, and get a wink, a nod or a smile – an indication that everything will be okay.

I went to a psychic healer last year and she said seven of my close relatives said it wasn’t my time, and that I had more to accomplish here on earth. Comforting, I suppose.

I have told my kids that if at all possible, when I transcend, I’m gonna move some cups and things around the kitchen, just to let them know I’m okay. It would also make me laugh, knowing I freaked them out a bit. Sue me!

There is no device that allows us to speak to our relatives. Okay, some paranormal investigators say they use gizmos to communicate with spirits, but few are going to run out and buy these things in hopes we can share a joke with our parents.

The Lake Simcoe Region Conservation Authority unveiled their “Wind Phone at Scanlon Creek Conservation areas.”

“The Wind Phone is a symbolic and powerful concept that originated in Japan. Featuring a disconnected rotary phone placed in a quiet natural setting, it offers a space where people can connect with loved ones they have lost. Thoughtfully integrated into the landscape at Scanlon Creek in partnership with Oasis, the Wind Phone provides a meaningful and peaceful place for reflection, remembrance, and emotional healing.”
Many of us try to reach out to our deceased loves ones in many ways. Perhaps you talk to your long-lost relatives. Maybe you include them in your prayers. Perhaps, you just picture them in your mind when you sit quietly by yourself in a moment of reflection.

I recall an interview with Keanu Reeves, and when asked what happens when we die, he said: “Those that love us will miss us.”

According to psychologists, After-Death Communications (ADCs) refer to the apparent communication of the deceased include full-body visualizations, dreams, hearing footsteps, electronic devices flickering on or off, feeling a hug, or conversations with the deceased.

I often dream of my family members and see them quite clearly. We never exchange real words, but we do share “thoughts.” The brain is a weird and marvellous thing.

We build bonds with family, friends and acquaintances during our lifetime. We share experiences and grow.

Patrick Swayze once observed: “When those you love die, the best you can do is honour their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you’re going to take whatever lesson that person or animal was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life … It’s a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself.”

We grieve when people close to us pass. But grief and love don’t have rigid timelines.

Buddhism believes when a person dies, their physical body disintegrates, but the other four Skandhas continue to exist and move on to the next life.

According to Christian doctrine, when a person dies, their soul leaves the body and enters into a state of rest, awaiting the final judgment. This belief is based on the idea that at the end of time, Jesus Christ will return to Earth to judge the living and the dead. Those who have been faithful to God and followed the teachings of Jesus will be granted eternal life in Heaven. It’s often described as a place of perfect peace, joy, and love, where the faithful will be reunited with their loved ones and live in the presence of God.

Muslims believe that life on earth is a temporary phase, and the soul will continue to exist even after the physical body dies. The moment of death is considered to be predestined, and it is believed that nothing can change the time or manner in which a person will pass away.

When a Jewish person is nearing the end of their life, it is customary for family members and close friends to gather around their bedside to recite prayers, offer comfort, and ensure that they are not alone. The Vidui, which is a confessional prayer, is often recited by the dying person or on their behalf. It is believed that this prayer helps to cleanse the soul and prepare it for the afterlife.

In Chinese culture, the concept of death is deeply rooted in the beliefs of filial piety, ancestor worship, and the continuity of family lineage. It is believed that the deceased continue to exist in another realm, and maintaining a connection with them is of paramount importance.

Whether wind phone, thoughts or prayers, I think once connected means always linked. Those we love are part of us, in ways we can’t fully explain.

Ok, we can’t reach out and touch them or feel their thoughts. But perhaps they can “sense” ours.

The power of love may very well transcend death and our energies – f all members of our lineage – ill gather, unite and play among the stars.

Oh, how wonderful that would be.

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