Bad things come in “Cs”

June 24, 2021 · 0 Comments

by SHERALYN ROMAN

I’ve had a tiny amount of extra time on my hands to contemplate life. A trip north to go camping will do that, especially when it rains and there is precious little else to do but reflect as you stare out at the water.

As I did so, it occurred to me that recently, at least for me, bad things come in “Cs.” Now – some of you might be more familiar with the mantra that “bad things come in threes” but bear with me – whether in “Cs” or “3s,” right now for me the saying is true!

The first of the Cs is Caterpillars. One word, which I venture to suggest is soon to become part of our vernacular as akin to a swear word, a really, really nasty swear word. I know for many Caledon residents not much explanation is required as to why this be the case. For those of you who aren’t sure why caterpillars are such a nasty word allow me to explain. I had been reading with interest about the recent infestation of LDD moths and the havoc they were wreaking across our community. Smugly, I sat firmly in the corner of “why should the Town be held responsible for spraying for them” corner. They are an act of nature, cyclical and while it sucks I’m sure just as many folks would be angry if the Town spent money to spray for infestations or at the chemicals being unleashed on a reluctant public.

Luckily, I remained unaffected at home but the trip north introduced me, suddenly and with a vengeance to the wrath of the caterpillar. Holy Moly with the caterpillars! They are everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! It’s become a whack-a-mole game for hubby and I as we fling them from our arms, legs, chairs, tables, awning you name it. The best part of all has got to be the poop. Can I say poop in a family newspaper? These little $*%&^%* poop! Where I sat last night around a campfire that was supposed to be calming and serene, instead we listened to the never-ending sound of the “rain” all around us. It wasn’t rain, folks – it was poop, millions of tiny poops falling everywhere.

I’m not a fan of camping on a good day – suffice to say caterpillars raining poop have me crying out for a Marriott! So, for all of my Caledon friends dealing with this overwhelming catastrophe you have my deepest sympathy. I still don’t think the Town should pay for spraying but perhaps a contest for who can collect the most caterpillars would be fun.

Next up is COVID, although I am hopeful this will be one of the last columns where I ever have to mention the catastrophe that this pandemic has become.

Mostly what has me concerned this week is the recent recommendation by Dr. Loh that there should be a change in mask policy. Another euphemistic saying comes to mind – this one being “too little too late.” Why are we revisiting a mask policy that forbids bandanas and neck gaiters as the pandemic is winding down? (We hope.) Masks, yes. I’m sure most of us agree masks should still be worn for the time being but why the sudden change in policy? Is there something we are not being told? Has it something to do specifically with the Delta variant? I’ve mentioned this feeling to friends – it’s no wonder conspiracy theorists are having a field day throughout this pandemic what with all the back and forth discussions on vaccines and masks. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had both doses and I wear a mask religiously and will for the foreseeable future but come on now? Can anyone explain this most recent proposed shift in philosophy?

Finally – the Conservatives! Now, I know many here in Caledon (a traditional conservative stronghold) will more than likely disagree with me, and this is not armchair quarterbacking about how COVID was handled – after all, it appears the “first dose for all strategy” might have worked – even if accidentally. I won’t even begin to comment on how getting both a first AND then second dose (even with all that time to get the system working) felt like episodes one and two of The Hunger Games. No, instead I’m talking about the duplicitousness of the conservative voice. The one that attends the funeral for a Muslim family but declines to denounce Islamaphobia in the legislature. The one that pronounces we must all stay home during COVID but gives a free pass (and a recent change of Cabinet post) to a Minister who not only travelled but actively sought the collusion of staff to help him mislead the public as to his whereabouts at Christmastime. (Note two further “C’s” there!) These are same conservatives who invoked the “notwithstanding clause” in a midnight session of the legislature while no one was watching, or even awake. There’s more, there is always more where the conservatives are concerned but I think you get the general idea.

Of course, “Cs” are not all bad. Caledon itself is good. GoodLot Brewery is good. Patios across our town finally opening and sunshine shining so we can get out to enjoy them is good. The Velocity Cycling (in person and online) fundraiser recently hosted by Caledon Community Services was good. Figures to date already suggest over $26,650 raised and it will remain open online until the end of this month. The funds are specifically earmarked to support seniors in our community.

With loneliness and isolation already an issue for many seniors, these funds will help with assisted living, respite companionship, health and wellness and transportation programs.

This isn’t just good – it’s great! So, there are some good “Cs” but right now, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the catastrophe “Cs” especially getting pooped on by caterpillars, as if camping wasn’t #*$%*% enough!