Laughs accompany dates at Schoolhouse Performers

March 30, 2017 · 0 Comments

By Bill Rea
Any business can get things wrong sometimes, but the results can be hilarious if that business is, say, a dating service.
Have enough files mixed up and see what results in the Inglewood Schoolhouse performers’ current offering of Date With Destiny.
Written by Karen Doling (by arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts), the play is set in an English town, where Destiny Dating occupies space above a relate office, which specializes in dealing with relationship problems and marriage counselling (the irony of the two establishments being above and below each other is lost on just about nobody).
Mrs. White (played by Leslie Prior) has run the dating service for some years, assisted by her administrator Marian (Emily Maloney), who is seldom at a loss for a pithy observation. “For everyone to have a perfect someone else, there would have to be some pretty strange people out there,” she remarks at one point.
Business is slow, and in an effort to pick things up, Mrs. White decides to install computers.
“I can only match up clients with my friends for so long,” she observes.
Robin (Mike Fortin) delivers and installs the computer, and he and Marian start coming on to each other.
Then enter the clients. There’s Miss Bennett (Sheilagh Crandall), who wants to be paired with a man who owns his own home and his own teeth; Mr. Darcy (Dan O’Reilly), who’s quick with one-liners (and yes, these two spark references to Pride and prejudice); the statuesque Ms. Parker (Brooke McAree); Mr. Arthur (Larry Flint), who says he’s not too fussy; Mrs. Minnie (Lee Ann Goldthorp) who says she’s looking for someone younger; and Mr. Anthony (Owen Goltz), who’s looking to start a family.
The cast is filled out by the bartender (Don Prior) and the barmaid (Katie Carolan). While neither of them have any lines, they are front-row spectators to the chaos that goes on, and their facial expressions capture their reactions.
The stage the troupe uses is a tiny one, and one might at first wonder how they maneuver a cast of 11 around it. But director Kathie Maloney has things well in hand, with no one getting in anyone’s way.
There are still tickets for performances scheduled for tomorrow (Friday), and April 7 and 8.
Performance time is 8 p.m. with the theatre doors opening at 7:30. Tickets are $20 and can be ordered online at inglewoodperformers@hotmail.com or by calling (905) 838-2874. They are also available at the Inglewood Store or Body Perks (clients only).
The Inglewood Community Centre is at 15855 McLaughlin Rd.

The cast of Date with Destiny includes Larry Flint, Sheilagh Crandall, Emily Maloney, Mike Fortin, Katie Carolan, Don Prior, Lee Ann Goldthorp, Dan O’Reilly, Owen Goltz, Leslie Prior and Brooke McAree.
Photo by Bill Rea