Complications in being a hitman being explored at CTHP

February 23, 2018 · 0 Comments

By Bill Rea
When some people are down on their luck, it’s interesting what methods they might use to change their fortunes.
But that can get tricky when they find themselves taking on the role of professional hitmen.
That’s what’s happening in the Caledon Townhall Players’ current offering The Accidental Hit-Man Blues, written by playwright and producer T. Gregory Argall. It explores the less than enviable lifestyle of Ron and Laura (played by Gord Gardiner and Litisha Perez). They have been struggling for about a year, reduced to living in a seedy hotel room that obviously hasn’t seen a decorator in some time.
The real complications start when a hitman (Rob Argall) breaks into their room and attacks Laura, obliging Ron to kill him in self defence. He feels a little guilty about the act, but not completely.
“Once you get past the sheer terror, it’s really thrilling,” he tells Laura.
They then have to answer questions for two detectives, the rather ditzy Sculder (Tricia-Leigh Stone), and her evidently long-suffering partner Mully (Noah Clauser). But they are somehow able to get rid of the evidence, using some rather nifty movements to actually move the body.
“I never really understood the term ‘deadweight’ until we had to carry you,” she tells the body as they try to get rid of it.
Being mistaken as enforcers, Laura and Ron find themselves being offered some pretty lucrative contracts to have certain people removed, and they start developing a certain empathy toward their targets. They include Mrs. Frobisher (Julie Docherty), who is told to take some of the money paid for the job and make herself scarce. Another victim is Sammy (Bryson Landriault), who talks a lot and has trouble staying on topic, much to Ron’ consternation. They also have to deal with another hit man, Johnny (Travis Jones), who’s less than pleased that he’s got competition.
The final result is a lot of confusion, combined with frustration on the part of some of those involved.
“I think this was meant to happen,” Ron tells his wife at one point. “There is no right thing, we’re doing the thing with the least amount of wrong.”
The play has a certain amount of off-colour language, along with some wonderful double meanings. Sammy was a ticket taker in a theatre, and got into trouble when a woman in line was a little delayed and asked for a couple of “secs.”
“I’ll give you all the secs you need,” he said he replied in front of her boyfriend.
There’s only one set in the play, namely the hotel room where Laura and Ron are living. Designed by Marg Argall and T. Gregory Argall, and built by John Rowe, Mark Chambers, and Chuck and Kim Blacklock, it does a great job of capturing the atmosphere anyone might be facing, if they’ have been struggling for a year. But the bad luck is overshadowed by the pithy dialogue and general confusion that makes this work worth many laughs.
The Accidental Hit-Man Blues wil be performed at the Caledon Townhall Theatre tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday night.
Call the box office at 519-927-5460 to order tickets.

The cast if the Caledon Townhall Players’ production of The Accidental Hit-Man Blues includes Travis Jones, Noah Clauser, Julie Docherty, Gord Gardiner, Litisha Perez, Tricia-Leigh Stone, Bryson Ladrialt and Rob Argall.
Photo by Bill Rea