The Insidious Spread of SRSE

Everywhere you go you see it. Certainly, when you're driving, it's most insidious of all and if you haven't already had the symptoms of SRSE yourself, you have most certainly been exposed to it. Perhaps you've built up some immunity - a certain tolerance if you will. Perhaps you are a better person than me? I appear to be increasingly more susceptible to the dreaded side effects of SRSE including, intolerance, frustration, anger, gnashing of teeth and a propensity for swearing. What am I talking about? Those who wander the world suffering from a profound sense of Self Righteous, Self-Entitlement.

Folks with SRSE are literally everywhere. Your chances of exposure are highest if you actually leave the house. That said exposure to SRSE via your house phone, your cell phone and through social media is prevalent too. If you not only leave the house, but also attempt to drive to work, you're going to be exposed for sure, especially if you commute along Highway 50 where your chances increase exponentially. If you commute to Toronto, so great is the danger, scientists haven't actually figured out how to measure your rate of exposure. Frankly, even if you only commute as far as your local Starbucks before returning to your home office, chances are you will be exposed to someone with SRSE at least once if not 52 times. It's rampant, it's uncontrolled, it affects a good 60 75 percent of the population (all figures are not scientific) and I can't take it anymore!

The Self-Righteous Self Entitled surround us. They are the lane hogs who think it's ok to do either 60 kilometres an hour or 160 kilometres an hour hour in a posted 100 km/hour zone. They are the drivers who travel as far as they possibly can in a merge lane and then insert themselves into a space no bigger than a wedge of brie cheese, throwing up their hands as if to say; “Whoops, who me? I had no idea my lane was coming to an end.” These are the same folks who travel downhill from either the South or North Hill in Bolton having conveniently forgotten that there is parking on both sides of the street and they will need to squeeze into the lane of through traffic. Do the roads realign themselves each night? Does someone who travels the same route each day suddenly suffer from amnesia, or temporary blindness? Merge lanes are long enough, the view heading downhill is clear enough, and someone at some point thought you were a good driver and granted you a license so why oh why do we have to deal with the SRSE each and every day?

Symptoms of SRSE include but are not limited to a blissful lack of awareness, rampant attitudes of “who gives a damn, an attitude of “My opinion matters most and everyone wants to hear it”, an ingrained belief that wherever the person with SRSE is going is so much more important than wherever you're going and the ability to spit out excuses like “It's only for a minute,” or “I'm in a rush,” or “I'm not hurting/bothering anyone” faster than Superman's ability to stop a speeding bullet.

Based on my experiences, there must be a whole lot more brain surgeons on the road, rushing to the aid of trauma victims, than there ever were before.

It's not enough that the SRSE surround us each day on the roads. No – they are the armchair warriors on social media. They are the folks with 22 items in the 8 items or less line at the supermarket. They are the folks in the line up at Costco who act surprised when the cashier asks for their membership card and then take a good eight minutes to dig around the bottom of their purse for it. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess you've shopped there for years and just finished food sampling your way from the freezer section to the front of the store all while blocking the aisle with your buggy at every opportunity – the least you can do is have your darn card out!

Finally, the worst offenders, the people who are literally consumed with SRSE, are those who park in designated spots for the disabled but whom are able-bodied. For you, there's a special place reserved and I think you know where. My guess is you won't be in a hurry to get there and won't be nudging anyone in or out of a merge lane to be front of the line.