On a more serious note…

by SHERALYN ROMAN

I like to think that everything I comment on in this space is serious in some way, even if occasionally I take a light-hearted view. Sometimes my comments come with a tongue planted firmly in cheek; other times I am deadly serious such as when we consider trucking and road safety, or the potential harms to our environment, roads and living standards from pits and quarries (blasting and otherwise).

When I tackle topics like Pride, especially during the month of June, my intent is to prod the reader and to prompt people to consider the world around them in a kinder light.

A topic on which I never want to be misconstrued, is sexual violence.

So today, on a more serious note, I'm revisiting a recent column that briefly mentioned the topic.

As a former Board member of Family Transition Place, amongst other volunteer roles I have held in the community, no discussion of gender-based violence, or sexual assault, consent, or any related matter is ever undertaken lightly and in such discussions, the facts matter.

Last week, I may have made a mistake.

An incident took place at a local golf course, prompting the Caledon OPP to issue a press release looking for a suspect in an alleged sexual assault.

Concerns were expressed both that I did not read the release, yet also made assumptions about its contents. One part of that statement is true and while regrettable, it has provided this opportunity to issue an apology and more importantly, to have a discussion on the nature of sexual assault and on who its victims are. 

The press release read by this author on June 14 referenced “the victim, an event worker.”

I incorrectly inferred the victim to be a female and commented (not blaming in any way, I must be clear, the location where it occurred) how unfortunate it was that even in broad daylight women often don't feel safe.

Most women would, I think, agree with me that we are often on high alert, anywhere we go and yes, even in broad daylight. As well, most women I know absolutely have reason to feel that generally speaking, we are more at risk of becoming a victim of sexual assault. I need only look to our neighbours just north of us, where at Island Lake in Orangeville, two separate incidents of alleged sexual assault took place just last week – again, in broad daylight.

Regardless, I made a mistake and later apologized in a telephone conversation directly to the individual who reached out to share their concerns with me.

I'm human, and more than willing to apologize when necessary. To me, that's part of what having integrity means. You own your errors, apologize and learn from the experience. 

Which, brings me back to the far more important topic of sexual assault, consent and gender-based violence, too. This entire situation has made it possible to remind us all that we should know better.

That unwanted sexual contact of any kind can happen to anyone whether male, female, non-binary or however you identify as an individual.

We've been made to understand the victim was not a woman, although they were clearly a victim nonetheless. Maybe it's truer to say that many people of all genders have reason to navigate the world in fear for their safety.

This is not the fault of the location where the assault occurred nor was that ever inferred.

It's not acceptable, ever, under any circumstances, whether in broad daylight with TV cameras around, or walking on a public trail enjoying the outdoors, or under cover of darkness, or in the privacy of one's own home.

Sexual assault and gender-based violence are never ok, and I think on that, surely we must all agree.