DEALING WITH GUILT

Are you dealing with feelings of guilt because society often shames you into thinking the worst thing you can ever do for your parents is place them in a retirement home? This simply is not true. There are excellent forever homes who provide the extra love, care, and support that your loved ones may need. It is necessary to do your homework and visit homes and talk to residents and families. It is similar to choosing a good day care for your child.

When you are busy with work, family members and your own personal life, it can be difficult to give an elderly family member the attention they need. As a result, their health and well-being can deteriorate. Trained professionals can help in providing care.  These services can reduce the stress that you may be experiencing while trying to care for your loved one.  

No matter our age, the role reversal is uncomfortable. We want our parents to remain decision-makers. We find it difficult when we must take over their roles. We feel guilty about the role reversal. Taking on the responsibility of finding a suitable living environment for your loved one can be taxing, but please know that it is normal to feel uncomfortable during this time.

Society plays a significant role in placing guilt on family members. Often stories written of neglect and abuse plant notions in your head that residents' safety may be a concern. When it comes to safety, those with marked cognitive decline, mobility issues or other disabilities are definitely safer in an environment with experienced staff, built-in barrier-free hallways, well-placed grab bars and other environmental supports rather than in their multi-story, cluttered houses. Reports have shown seniors often maintain a healthy weight and show improvement to their physical and mental health when they have fresh cooked meals, medication monitoring, attentive physical care, and opportunities to engage in meaningful activities such as music, art, exercise, and games.  Often fellow residents are eager to include new people in the social aspect of group living.  Group activities evoke feelings of camaraderie and human connection, which are necessary for well-being. 

Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate that you are doing the best you can and deserve to have a life and relationships outside of caregiving. Relationships improve when you return to being a family member first and caregiver second. You will still oversee your loved one's care, but the day-to-day stresses and responsibilities will be shared with a full support team. They will still need you as their advocate. Accept this newly defined caregiver role and the benefits it provides. A commitment to a life of your own will make you a more refreshed caregiver and protect against caregiver burnout. That is a winning situation for both sides.

At Woodhall Park Retirement Village we have been caring for seniors for over 35 years, providing love and support to many families. Call today 905-846-1441 extension 32 for your tour or visit us online at www.woodhallpark.ca.